Sometimes we all say things we shouldn’t. “Do you really think that looks good?” “I didn’t realize you had a hearing problem I thought you just talked that way.” “So how pregnant are you?” These things are just unfiltered statements that form in our over active ‘pop cultured’ mind. Once they are in the open, no longer a thought but a verbal faux pas, they can not be taken back. The best you can do is apologize and hopefully move on. So what happens when the person you have insulted, whether in anger or in non filtered verbal diarrhea, will not accept the apology?

Recently I was in an uncomfortable situation with a close friend. Things were said, lines were laid, and apologies were given. Yet nothing was resolved. How it started is not important, however how it ended is. Even though I still felt wronged from the initial fight, I decided it wasn’t worth it and tried to make amends. Sometimes you need to be the bigger person and burry the hatchet, even if all you want to do is sharpen it. Yet no matter how many times I said I was sorry, the friend in question simply used it as a platform to send another angry email. All attempts at trying to save our friendship were met by more scathing remarks. Finally I gave up and wrote “Hello, I am trying to reach out here! Call me! Let’s fix this! Enough with the hurtful emails.”  This was answered by yet another email saying that nothing would ever be the same, but we should move on and that meeting would do neither of us any good. First thing that comes to mind? Coward.
Why do I mention this in my blog? Why do I feel this to be so important? Simple, life is too short to act in such a cowardly manner. Words will always come out the wrong way; it is the human condition to behave like an ass from time to time. The difference between behaving like an ass and being an ass is if you can admit when you have done wrong, and when you can accept others admittance. If a friendship is not worth saving, if you are hiding behind impersonal emails, if you don’t know when to accept an apology and move on, then don’t start the argument in the first place. Stop throwing barbs at them. Move on. Walk away.
If it is worth saving, then once all the initial hurtful things have been said, stop recycling them and help in the mending. Whether it is your sibling, your partner, your friend, or parent; if it is worth the pain, it is worth time and effort of mending it. Who really cares about all the ‘he said she said’? And in the end, does it really matter who started the apology, as long as it ends well?
For my part I feel that I have done all that I can not to lose a friend. I will not look back on this and think “If only I had just said I was sorry…” Life is too short. I also feel tired. Like I have been boxing for 10 rounds and finally fell down.

 If any of you are holding onto anger just for the sake of holding onto it, let it go. If feels so much better to just let it go. Be ready to say sorry now and again, and most importantly be prepared to accept others who are sorry. Life is a cycle of mistakes, if you are human enough to make them why not be human enough to forgive them.
We all say things we shouldn’t “I hate you”, “Don’t be so stupid and childish”, “I wish you would just go away”. Why is it so hard to say “I know, I am sorry too”.